Sunday, December 23, 2007

Drunk & Disorderly

I started a post last night about my man and how wonderful he is. It's saved in my drafts and I had planned on finishing and posting it this morning. That was before he made a total and complete ASS of himself at our get together last night. He's one of those people who has a very defined limit when it comes to alcohol. I can usually see him approaching the line and then I swoop in and cut him off. He's very good about it, if I manage to catch him before he crosses the line. Unfortunately, last night I was too slow in the swooping department. I was too busy socializing and playing hostess-with-the-mostess to notice. Once I realized he was totally past the point of no return, I just let it go, I mean it's Christmas, right? He was actually quite funny, not so much in a comedic, witty kind of way, it was more like cheap entertainment laughing at the drunk guy, but it was funny nonetheless. He babbled his way through the night telling partially coherent stories about people at work (he works in a grocery store) and then after a most enthralling story about frozen stuffing that comes in a package shaped like a triangle (wtf?), he disappeared. I found him passed out, fully clothed, on top of the covers in the bedroom. Really, the perfect place for him at the time.

When everyone left, I went to bed. In retrospect I should have just slept in one of the three other empty beds, but I figured he was passed out until morning. I won't make that assumption again. After some more incoherent blather, I finally got him to lay back down. And then he decided it was time to iron his shirt. At 4am. He had to work at 9. Then somehow, in a matter of minutes, it became MY fault that we were still awake. He was shaking his head at me, scolding me like a child, telling me he has been trying to sleep for the past 2 hours and don't I know he was to WORK in a few hours? WTF?

When I woke up and hauled his half-drunk sorry butt out of bed, I knew he would be late for work. He was only 15 minutes late, but I know for sure he got ripped a new one when he got there. He has called me several times to apologize for his abundance of idiotness last night, I'll give him that. He feels terrible (good!!). I've been trying to think of a suitable punishment, but I figure having to be at work for the next 7 hours with the hangover from hell on the busiest day of the entire year will suffice. {insert evil laugh here}

I am utterly exhausted this morning. I'm running on 2 hours sleep, my kitchen still needs to be cleaned, approximately 63,456,794 beer cans need to be taken to the recyclers and as I type this, my youngest M is smearing peanut butter and blueberry yogurt all over the wall in the dining room.

Needless to say, the post about how much I adore him isn't getting posted. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe.

4 comments:

Chey said...

ha ha, sounds too familiar.

Hope D did well on little sleep, I too was up at 4am, but I REALLY did have to be to work....for the 5:30am shift.

Amanda Marie said...

He seems fine (bastard!) - he does feel terrible though, he even showed up here on his break with a gorgeous bouquet of read & white tulips with some Christmasy foliage. Really pretty. I call them doghouse flowers, but I'll take what I can get. lol

Amanda Marie said...

red tulips, not read tulips.

*must start proofreading*

charmedgirl said...

ha!!! that reminded me that husband always accuses me of not loving him when he's starting to get too drunk. it would be hilarious if he didn't really mean it...and if MY PDA swoop isn't fast enough, we actually fight about it. can you imagine? well, i guess you can...

going to work the next day was definitely enough punishment.