Profanity Philled Rant about Draco (spelling mistake intended)

So this afternoon I am hanging out with my man and the phone rings....it's the ex's cell number on my Caller ID. Those of you that know me will know that this event only takes place in cases of extreme emergency. He doesn't speak to me, ever, we only communicate via email. Pretty effing twisted since we see each other 10 times a week for pick-ups/drop-offs. So I answer and he's telling me he is at the courthouse for our hearing and where am I? WHAT?!?! This is MY hearing, MY day in court that I have been patiently waiting for for MONTHS now. I flipped my lid on him, so he put his lawyer (let's call him BS, short for Big Shot..or whatever :P) on the phone and I tore the guy a new one. How in the HELL was I not served with notice of this hearing, MY hearing? I ended up hanging up on BS and hopping in my car. I drove like a maniac (thank God for radar detectors) to the courthouse and as I was approaching, I see EX and BS outside, waiting for me. I peeled into the first spot I saw, parking half on the curb and hauled ass up the courthouse steps. BS greets me with a "Good Afternoon, Miss (insert last name)" to which I snorted "go to hell" and slammed my way through the doors like the classy broad that I am.

I walk into the conference room and there are signs on the table for Defendant and Applicant. At the Defendant side of the table, there is a barely any elbow room due to the well organized stacks of papers and manila folders. On my side, there is a jug of water and a glass. Empty and bare. My folder is at home, chock full of well organized notes to follow and point form arguments to make. It's at this moment it hits me - I have nothing but me.

The Judge walks in and I apologize for being unprepared and express my extreme upset about not being notified of the hearing date. She completely understands and although it appears that it was an error made by the court registry, BS's office also should have notified me and didn't. I would be willing to bet my left tit (and it was 'spency LOL) that this was a tactic. Somehow, some way, this was done to make ME look like an ass. Job well done, boys.

After asking a few routine questions, the Judge allowed me to say a few words. I think I did a pretty decent job getting my point across as to why we were there. I explained that the current schedule is hectic (back and forth ten times a week, yes TEN) and that with the majority of my time with my son being daytime, I am unable to persue the option of going back to work full time because I would never see him. To add insult to injury I would then be 100% financially responsible for daycare costs because it would fall into "my" time. When it came time for BS to explain why they were so opposed to my application, he goes on this big rant about my "disabled down syndrome kid" (yes, that's a direct quote) and how any change to the schedule may be traumatic for him. GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK. I literally wanted to leap over the giant round table and strangle the life out of this ignorant piece of crap. The fact that M has Ds has NOTHING to do with this situation!!!! Is that the best he's got? Is EX really ok with his lawyer playing the Down Syndrome Card in court? Could I have honestly procreated with such a fucking asshole? Apparently so, because he sat there, all smug, leering at me from across the table. I guess I really don't even know him any more, who the hell is this Phil guy anyways?

Anyways, before I go off on a tangent about the remainder of the conference, it ended with the Judge saying that since the application is so vehemently opposed, this must go to trial. Guess how long of a wait it is for a trial? 6-8 months. SIX TO EIGHT MONTHS before this can be resolved. And of course, no guarantees that I will win. Things could very well remain as is and if I choose to work full-time, it will mean seeing my son ONE evening a week. What the FUCK.

Needless to say, I am beyond upset. I have never hated anyone as much as I hate EX right now. I loathe him and that's not nearly an intense enough word. I envision myself opening the door the next time he comes here (tomorrow at 5pm) and throwing him off the porch, right on his fat ass for all the neighbors to see. I imagine walking into his place of work and just plowing him, square in his smirky fucking face. You're probably wondering how I can be so cruel, right? If only you knew what this bastard has put me through since I left his sorry ass 3 years ago. It has been month after month of hell, with me always conceding and giving in to his ridiculous demands because I can't deal with it any more. Throughout the separation, my lawyer called him Draconian, in fact she even printed it in a letter about him, which I will save for years to come. I just might start calling him that to his face. Thousands of dollars wasted on said lawyer (which is the reason I don't have one this time around) for what? I walked away with nothing and every time I turn around, I'm bending over to take it up the ass all over again.

I am an absolute mess right now, my eyelids are swollen, my right leg won't stop shaking and I have that stupid hiccup thing that happens when you cry too hard.


This sucks.


edited to add: I came out of the courthouse to find a parking ticket on my windshield. Fuck me.

My Two BFF's

So this week has been interesting, to say the least. Yesterday was probably the most worthy of it's own post. I woke up in a fairly decent mood, really excited to go to my son's Preschool Christmas concert. We managed to get everyone ready, on time, which is an amazing feat in our house. So we're all geared up to leave and we can't find the keys. They are nowhere. My clean house looked like it had been ransacked by robbers by the time we were finished looking, but we did find them. When something crappy like this happens first thing in the morning, I should really take it as a sign to just stay the hell home and not bother facing the world. It's inevitably going to be a BAD day.

We walk into the church and the very first person I see is my daughter. Apparently my Mother thought it would be a good idea to bring her? (yes that's a question) She's sitting there, jet black hair teased as big as a football helmet, raccoon eyed makeup, a hoodie with skulls on it (yes, I said skulls) and skater shoes with tongues as big as my ass (which incidentally is growing by the day...effing Christmas season) Never mind that she was not only expelled from school the day before, but was also banned from all school district properties. Never mind that 5 days ago, she was drunk and high causing a scene at both the mall and her school. Never mind that the last time I was face to face with her, she called me a f-ing c--- and told me she didn't care if I died. Never mind that the last time she came to visit her brothers, she showed up drunk. Never mind all of that, there she is. I am surprised she made it to the front pew, one would have thought she would have exploded in a ball of fiery hell upon entering the House of God.

So anyways, I take a deep breath and I mutter under my breath "Just when I thought this day couldn't get worse".....and literally, within maybe 3 seconds, my ex walks through the door. What the f**k, are you kidding me with this sh!t? I'm not sure why it surprised me, it was after all his son's concert, but I was shocked. The next hour is kind of a blur. Lots of singing, kids whining, yelling, Santa's bells, my stupidfuckingex chatting it up with my Mom, Gramma and brother like nothing has happened. I wanted to scream at them. How they can even look at him after what he has put me through is beyond me. They even wished him a Merry Christmas. WTF?

Ok fast forward. We got the heck outta there and came home. That's when all hell broke loose. The previous owner dropped a letter in my mailbox. I ripped it open right away, but now I wish I hadn't. It's actually sitting right in front of me as I type and I can honestly say, I can't bring myself to read it again. I read it when I opened it, then I read it out loud to my man on the phone and that's it. It's sitting there, font side up and I can't even glance at it. My head hurts just thinking about it. As you've obviously figured out, it's not what we wanted to hear. There, in print, is the too bad so sad, if you don't like it, take us to court. WHO THE HELL DOES THIS TO PEOPLE? These people are not idiots either, they are both highly educated. They did this on purpose. They lied and they covered up their problems and left them for us to deal with. I mean seriously, what the F is wrong with a person to do this to someone. Someone they don't know. Someone who did them a favor by buying their house. Someone with a family, with little kids. Someone with plans for that house. Someone who wanted to fill that house with love and raise their children there. Someone with a heart and feelings and emotions. This truly is enough to break a person's spirit. Is there no human decency in this world? I'll say it again, WHO DOES THIS?

My drama has been going on for months, years maybe. I am just "that" person, never a dull moment. Most people don't see it, because on the surface I am Smiley Girl with the Perfect Life. But those who know me well, also know all my sh!t. Well most of it anyways. One of those people is my friend Cheryl. We have often said we must have been separated at birth. We are two peas in a pod with so many similarities it would floor you. Kinda creepy really. I am certain she must have felt my added pain yesterday, because she asked me to spend the evening with her (we haven't seen each other in months), doing whatever I wanted to do. We ended up going for appies and a few drinks (of course both drinking Rye, Diet Coke, tall glass, slice of lime) and I vented. Dumped, unloaded, unleashed, whatever you want to call it, but my god it felt good. I didn't cry, I didn't get worked up, I just talked it all out and she listened. We took turns. OK I am lying, I dominated in the venting department, but she did vent about what it's like to go back to work after 5 years as a SAHM and I listened. She labeled our friendship easy and that's exactly what it is.

So. Those were my two BFF's yesterday. The soul-crushing Big Fat Fuckyou from previous owners and my soul-lifting evening with one of my most Bestest Friends, Forever.